Travel

Köln’s Grösste Weihnachtsfeier

My first day in Cologne was a bit short because I had to get to Cologne, and that in itself is a bit of an adventure. I looked up train tickets on the Deutsche Bahn website, but couldn’t get them online for reasons. So I walked to the train station the day before to get the tickets. However, I didn’t realize that the automated ticket machines are specific to each train company. And so I ended up buying my tickets to Cologne through the SNCF (French) train line and not through the DB (German) trains. So my trains ended up being about half an hour longer each way, and I was on the train from Luxembourg to Liege, Belgium, then a second train to Cologne. The train from Liege to Cologne was a nice high speed train, only an hour. However, the train from Luxembourg to Liege took about 2.5 hours, stopping in lots of Luxembourgish villages and Belgian towns along the way. This was a torturously slow train, and had no amenities (no free wifi, no charging ports for phones, no bar/dining car, no snacks… the horror). 

The train from Luxembourg went straight north through the very northern tip of the country, to Gouvy, so I got to see the final bits of Luxembourg that I hadn’t already been to. We rode through Clervaux, by the castle, and on through the beautiful countryside of Luxembourg. Then the train went through Belgium for a long ride through the Belgian countryside. It was interesting to see the almost immediate change in towns and architecture. The Belgian buildings are almost entirely brick. Not a lot of smooth concrete/stucco buildings. It gives the countryside a much more medieval look, as everything is stone or brick, and all of it is mossy and blackened with road soot near the bottom. There’s clearly a lot of farm land.  There were rocks with a bright yellow chalky substance on them near the train tracks, which I can only assume is sulfur, though maybe it’s yellow pollen from the mustard flowers? The train winds through some towns that definitely look to have a very high level of poverty, with dilapidated buildings and what appear to be trailer parks, with lots of crumbling abandoned buildings and farming equipment left to rust. Liege seems like a quite nice town, as I take a few photos from the train station. I only have about 20 minutes between trains, so not enough to go exploring, but it looks nice from here. 

The train to Cologne from Liege is fast and mostly uneventful. Though I will share this one funny moment: About 10 minutes into the journey, someone a few rows ahead of me, their laptop or tablet started playing sound. The sound was coming out was clearly not a ring tone or something benign…. it was a video. I couldn’t see the person, so I don’t know whether it was a man or woman, and I don’t know what the video was of. But the *sound* was a woman moaning. Loudly. Intensely for at least a solid minute. I assumed this person would panic and turn it off, but no. It seems like they were perfectly fine with it. Whether they were watching porn or a video of a someone giving birth (It may have even been Call the Midwife, though we didn’t get to the end of the video where someone called her a ‘clever girl’.). Either way, it sounded like porn. Finally, after it became clear that this person wasn’t going to turn it off themselves, an older German lady, like a little old German grandma, got up from her seat and sternly told them to turn the volume down and that is sounds like an “Orgasmus”. That’s my new German word for today, lol. You learn things in the weirdest places, I suppose. The person complied and no further videos were heard throughout the train ride. 

Arriving in Cologne

I arrived in Cologne just as it began to rain, which was awesome. I have 2 backpacks and a roller suitcase with me, so I’m a pretty slow moving target. I change from the train to the U-bahn, the underground metro, and change trains again, before arriving at my Air B’n’B for the weekend. Then I have to walk, of course, but the person has left the keys in a nearby grocery store, so I have to walk there, with all my things, get the key, then walk back, and then, because the elevator is broken, walk up 3 flights of stairs with my bags. Whew. What a day. At this point, it’s about 4:30 p.m. and I have about 30 minutes before I have to go out for the evening. So I plug in my phone and my spare phone battery, and relax indoors. My room is small. It’s the smallest studio apartment I’ve ever seen. And I would later discover it has very low water pressure, so showering in the tiny shower in this tiny room was not super fun. And somehow I didn’t remember to make sure it included wifi, so I arrived to discover I have no internet for the weekend. Grr. 

Concert Time

Now for the big event. A coworker who is originally from Cologne sent me a link to a concert happening tonight. It’s called the “Biggest Christmas Festival in Cologne”, and it features a bunch of local bands and includes a full German dinner. Yay!  It is also 6 hours long, so this is definitely going to be a night to settle in and just enjoy the atmosphere. I took the metro again. Only this time, it was absolutely packed with people. Everyone in Cologne is going to this concert! Every stop, more people pushed onto the train. We finally arrived at the Lanxess arena, and went to the show. Now, I am not generally a concert person. I don’t like crowds, and I am a short person, so I can never see over the other people if I’m in a crowd. So unless it’s a band I really want to see and I get really close seats, I’m generally happier staying at home. For this concert, I got lucky and there were a few single person VIP tickets left, so I was able to snag one that was literally the 4th seat away from the stage. And a bonus is that it included all-you-can-eat-and-drink, so I could just relax and enjoy the show.

From 6-8, dinner was served. There were bottles of red and white wine on the tables, along with waters and sodas. The waiters came around with wheels of kölsch beer, replacing any empty beer glasses. I had a delicious feast, including a make-your-own German salad with all the yummy pickled veggies and Geman salad dressing, wurst and schnitzel appetizers, and a traditional Rheinland feast of sauerbraten, kartoffelklößen, and red cabbage. And, of course, no meal is complete without a cheese plate and some baked apples. It was very interesting to learn that this is the region of Germany where all of the ‘sweet-and-sour’ foods are from. Most southern German food is savory/salty. But here in Rhineland, almost every savory dish has a splash of something sweet. Sauerkraut is served with shredded apples mixed in. Applesauce is the preferred condiment for tons of dishes. This is also the region where rotkohl, or red cabbage, is often served instead of sauerkraut, and the rotkohl has apples in it and is very sweet/sour. Some of the food is almost more like Asian food that most European foods, and flavors are blended here that other regions keep separate. I generally prefer the savory-only style of food and save the sweet stuff for dessert, but it’s interesting to me to learn that this is a regional phenomenon, and I enjoy trying some foods I wouldn’t normally eat.

I very quickly lost count of how many tiny glasses of kölsch I drank, only that I eventually was saturated and no longer in need of beer to quench my thirst. At around 8:00, the music started. The stage was set up in the round, with people seated 360 degrees around it. The first act was a guy with a guitar, Björn Heuser. He came out and sang some German songs, including some sing-a-long songs, whose lyrics were in the program. Some were Christmas songs and others were just German songs. It was super entertaining. Everyone was really into it. People were singing along and making friends. At this point, the group of ladies sitting next to me noticed that I was not with the group on the other side of me and was alone. This would not do. They made a point to include me in their singing and dancing and jokes for the rest of the night. It was very warm and welcoming and fun. 

Domstürmer

The next band, adorably called ‘Domstürmer’, ended up being my favorite of the night. It was super fun and the guitar guy closest to me was very expressive, making funny faces while playing. They sang “Feliz Navidad”, which was really funny. They were really loudly singing the “Feliz Navidad” part, but then when it got to the “prospero año y felicidad” part, only 1 band member seemed to know the words. But they alternated the “We wanna wish you a merry Christmas” verses between German and English. So it was actually a tri-lingual version of the song. They were fun and the audience was singing along and everyone was just really endearingly into it. All ages, all people. Just enjoying singing and dancing. People weren’t pushing to be at the front of the stage, but relaxed and enjoying drinks in their seats. It was just silly, innocent fun. There was even one song that had some sort of gestures to it. Kind of like singing the Itsy Bitsy Spider with a bunch of adults in a foreign language, lol. Not from my concert, but what I could find on Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UW43xAOo_ac

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Querbeat

The first scheduled band of the night was Querbeat. This was just a fascinating musical experience. I would describe them as being a blend of Ska and German Polka. Like, they were playing a lot of brass instruments, and a couple saxophones, and singing very modern hip-hop style songs. It was just super interesting and weird. They had coordinating orange costumes and a lot of stage presence. I don’t know if orange is their signature color or if it was just for today, but it was vibrant and fun. 

Räuber

Next was Räuber, who were a little more traditional rock band: lead singer, drummer, long haired guitar guys, an accordion. At this point, everyone is really into it. People have left their chairs and are now pressed up towards the front stage. Still fun, everyone is still singing along and dancing. The girls across from me are standing in their chairs. It’s getting pretty rowdy. The band was good, but I’m not familiar with any of their songs. They did add in a few Christmas songs, which was fun. And at one point they played a song that got the entire arena to stand up and lock elbows and sway back and forth.  

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Bläck Fööss

The last band (or at least the last one I saw) was Bläck Fööss. This is a very popular band, and they’ve clearly been around for quite a while. They were fun and I enjoyed watching them. But at this point in the evening, the unlimited alcohol was really wearing on the celebrants. There was a group of guys behind me who were dancing in a circle together and as the evening wore on, they became more and more obnoxious. One guy had bought a tambourine. And was shaking it incessantly. Just a loud ringing noise like he’s a damned 3 year old with a drum set. He keeps going up to different people in his group and putting it right behind their head and jingling it really loud. No one seemed super thrilled by this surprise. This whole ass grown ass man can’t seem to get over the fact that he can demand attention constantly with an obnoxious noise. It’s like a 5 year old discovering tantrums. And seriously, I have strong words for whatever genius thought selling tambourines at a concert was a good idea. Let’s sell noisemakers so no one can hear the bands they came to see. Great idea. Very strong words….  One of the other guys in the group has taken a bottle of white wine from the tables. He has a wine glass in one  hand and a bottle of wine in the other. He keeps pouring the wine into the glass, dancing, spilling the wine on the floor, and refilling the glass. I’m not sure he was drinking anymore, but he needed a full glass to look like he was drinking. Anyway, he kept dancing closer and closer to my table, and I knew that I was about to throw down with this dude with a chiseled jaw when he poured wine all over me or my coat. Maybe I was getting tired, but I was definitely getting grumpy and no longer enjoying the now-overly-jubilant atmosphere. I decided to call it a night. No point spoiling my evening after such a fun event, just to see the rest of a concert that I don’t even know the bands. The bands were all great and super fun. The atmosphere was really fun and warm and welcoming. Everyone was very friendly and the food was interesting and tasty and it was such a perfect welcome to Germany. Still, I think the one guy in Domstürmer was my favorite of the night. I took the underground back to my room, and crashed for the night. 

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