ABBA
Ok, so I totally forgot to tell this story last night. So there’s this song that plays on the radio everywhere. I’ve heard it a hundred times this trip, but never before. It’s clearly from the ~70’s, and my guess was Oliva Newton John. But it turns out it’s ABBA, a song called “Happy New Year”. It’s popular here because I guess there aren’t that many new year songs. It’s a weird song because the vocal harmonies overlap a lot, making the lyrics difficult to distinguish. But what I can hear is the chorus of “Happy New Year” over and over and a line that says “We might as well lay down and die, and die”. WHAT could this song possibly be about? I finally googled it and read the lyrics in total. It’s kind of depressing, not sure why it’s everyone’s favorite New Year song, but again, there aren’t many options.
So, for New Years Eve. They halt the dramatic reproduction of Frozen wherein Anna is constantly taking selfies and instead of finishing each others’ sandwiches, she and Hans take selfies together. 10 minutes before midnight, they play a few party games and give away some prizes. Then, about a minute before midnight, the cast leads everyone in singing “We Wish You a Merry Christmas”…I guess because it ends with ‘and a happy new year’? It seems like someone could have written some New Years songs by now. Russians are known for musical genius. So just before midnight, we sing ‘We Wish You a Merry Christmas” in English, then count UP to 10, in Russian. This I can do! I gleefully shout, champagne in hand, all of the Russian numbers, not sure if we’re counting to 10 or 60 or I dunno, 17 because why not. We get to 10 and everyone says Happy New Year and drinks and starts furiously making out, as the tradition of a New Years Eve kiss is apparently very strong here. Then…. we sing Jingle Bells. Like the full version, dashing through the snow, etc. And the guy totes does not know the words, but we’re going with it. Welcome to the world, 2018. Jingle Bells!
So after all the celebrating, they crank up the music and blast this ABBA song. Again, it is totally depressing. But they’re so into it. And the very nice lady sitting next to me who has looked out for me all night leans over and says ‘It’s for you! Happy New Year!’ and clearly thinks that everyone loves this song on New Years Eve. At least I’ve heard it enough times to sing along and celebrate. Again, it was such a cozy, welcoming environment. I was in line to take a photo with the reindeer and another lady asked me a question I didn’t understand and when she noticed that I speak English, she said “Ohhh! You are welcome in Moscow!” Few people were patient enough to try to tolerate me speaking Russian, but those who spoke enough English that I could understand basic things, I was able to speak back to them in Russian somewhat.
Touchy Feely
So, I’m sure anyone reading about the old lady putting my hair up and taking my hand to dance with me was like ‘what happened to Tina, she does not like the touchy feelies’. And I do not. And everyone here is touchy feely. Like, my tour guides, all of the Russian ones have been ladies, they have often wanted to walk arm-in-arm, locking elbows together. The one in Moscow even held my hand a few times. I have to physically calm myself to not instinctively pull away. But it’s totally normal here. And it’s practical: you can steady each other walking over the ice and snow. I’ve watched dozens of little old ladies in head scarves walking, arms linked, through the snow. It’s just the general way. And also just walking down the sidewalk…the personal space bubble is much smaller, lots more contact just riding the subway and walking down the street.
–Edit: Strangers. I don’t like strangers up in my space. I’m totally fine with friends being huggy and cozy.
Walking around Red Square
On the ever-growing list of bad info I got before coming on this trip, I’ll add this. Many websites say that Moscow is closed down after New Years Eve. Everyone has been out partying until 6 a.m., and nothing opens until 4 or 5 in the afternoon on Jan 1. I even read a post that said you can get some ‘post-apocolyptic’ looking shots of the totally empty Red Square on Jan 1. I don’t know when they were in Moscow, but I will let you in on a secret: totally bogus. I got out around noon today, searching for lunch, and the whole security checkpoint system is still going strong. And There are tons of people out. All those costumed performers? Still there! More than yesterday afternoon, actually. Somehow I have come out without my hat, and I am wearing only the paper crown bestowed on me by the city of Moscow. I wandered around Red Square, had a fried bread thing filled with cheese and dill. There is an infinite amount of dill here. I walked through the Christmas markets and the childrens games and the food stalls. As the sun starts to go down, it’s becoming more and more crowded. And the police are closing off more and more routes, making my walk home even longer. It is getting colder, starts to snow a bit, so I stop inside a restaurant for lunch.
It says beer restaurant, so I peruse the pivo menu. Amusingly, beer restaurant here generally means they are very proud of how many German beers they have, and so they only have 2 Russian beers on tap and 1 kvass. I order the kvass, but they are out. So I order the restaurant’s beer: Burgermeister lager. I order a small sausage plate with sausages that are supposed to have cheese in them, but they are hard and dry. Then I order some pelmeni, filled with bear. I’ve never eaten a bear. So I really expected it to be gamey, but no. It just tasted like all the other pelmeni. Lots of places serve rabbit pelmeni, but I haven’t tried them. It takes fully 2 hours to have lunch, so I decide to go back to the hotel. It’s now super crowded outside and getting dark and I have no hat. I have to fight through crowds, and walk well out of my way to get back to the hotel. I hang out in my room, pack my things, do some writing.
I decided to just go downstairs to the hotel bar for dinner, since it’s such a hassle to go outside. I ordered a club sandwich and a vodka martini. Nothing interesting. There’s a weird tv show on the bar tv, very cheesy, looks like ‘Merlin’. I ignore it. Then…as I continue eating, I notice a house running in the tv show. A hut, if you will…with chicken’s legs. I freeze, staring at the television. It’s a tv show about the Baba Yaga. The hut is running through the village. Then it stops and she summons her mortar and pestle, which she flies around in. I am transfixed, so much so that the waiter comes over to ask if I’m ok. None of the waiters know the name of the show, so Joe and I do some sleuthing when I get back to my room and find out it’s a movie, made by Disney. I need to find a copy of this and watch it. It’s so cheesy. And also kind of problematic. But very interesting and I wish I was more familiar with the other slavic fairy tale characters.
